We once stumbled across a story in Mass Appeal which was relatively good. The author was a man by the name of Livingroom Johnson. Later we had the opportunity to interview LJ. We jumped at the chance. Unfortunately what followed was a pretty bad exchange.

We've added some commas, to help you read it but we've left the rest the way LJ sent it. There's some irony and cliche but overall it's pretty unispiring. Everyone has an off day right? Maybe he'll come back in a month or two with a boombastic story that blows us all away...and that right there will be like a big fat, "what's up now homie!"

FCR: Tell us about one book you think is exceptional.

LJ: Chester Himes' Plan B. That is a very comical book, yet it has a dark undertone to it.

FCR: In your opinion, which rapper can paint the most vivid pictures...the most like a writer?

LJ: To be honest with you, I couldn't give a shit. But to answer the question that would have to be Nas.

FCR: Isn't the NY TImes best seller list and the Billboard Hit Songs list on the same level? Some thoughts?

LJ: I don't know. I avoid the times like a bad habbit. As for Billboard, my mind is on other things.

FCR: Tell us one line or short story you remember really well...something that stuck.

LJ: It was a story by Ralph Ellison. He wrote it through the eyes of a young Caucasian boy, watching a Negro man being burned alive while it was raining .

FCR: Tell us something really strange you've been a part of.

LJ: A writers workshop. I went to one recently and got pretty angry. They had me as a guest speaker. I have a problem with authority and people telling me what and how I should be writing. So I told everyone there to never come to one of those again and that they should make their own books. Also, that someone is telling them how or what to write, they should ask the person how many books they've published. If the answer was zero, the person should go fuck themselves.
 
FCR: What instrument / music style have you been really into hearing lately?

LJ: Bach, Classical.

FCR: Why do politics suck?

LJ: Because they don't take Black people seriously. Katrina for example.

FCR: Is writing under a psuedonym kind of redundant, since your voice, first
person, third person is already establishing perspective?

LJ: It depends on how one feels at the given moment. There are no rules.
 
FCR: The best writer most people don't know about is...? why?

LJ: Me. Because I don't have a publicist yet.

FCR: Do you have a day job? what?

LJ: NO. I write and sell paintings for a living. Sometimes it takes a while, then I break even with the time. Because time is money.