I was born in the 1960's, New York City. When I was 12 years old, we started huffing "Airplane Glue" in paper bags to get high. That got played quick when we discovered weed, in my neighborhood, they sold weed everywhere, there was vacant buildings and tenements with a hole in the door or wall and

That is how they sold the weed. Being we were young and did not have much money, we would chip in for a Tray Bag ($3 bags in mini manila envelopes).

You could pull out 3 to 5 joints from a $3 bag and it would get us stoned. Nobody carded us at the bodegas that sold beer. So, we would buy quarts of Budweiser and share one quart after another. That went on for about a year. Getting stoned was what we were all about, we never went to school. Getting high was a way of life back then. It was the culture.

I ran into an older friend in the neighborhood and he asked if we wanted to try some Angel Dust (PCP). We walked through Central Park in the north end of the part (110th, the part we never ventured to). We waited in the park and my friend went out to 7th ave and around the corner on 111th (Harlem). When he came back, he had a flat white envelope with a red stamp on it, it said "Coma" on the bag, and it had a mint chemical smell.

Right away I could not wait to smoke it, he opened the bag and I saw black mint leaves with a very strong chemical odor and he rolled a skinny flat joint and we smoked it slow and I felt like I was floating on the air.

So, for a while all I used was Dust, I dropped acid a few times, weed was always around. But, the Dust was my main drug at the time. We did coke when we had the extra money or when we went to parties.

I was introduced to a guy through a friend that was interested in trying Dust. This guy said he just finished kicking a heroin habit and he needed something to take the edge off. I always knew heroin was around. But, it was a different and older crowd that used it. I personally was never exposed to heroin until this new friend called a few weeks after meeting him. He asked me if I had any money to "try" a bag of heroin.

I did not know that he was in withdrawal. So, we met in East Harlem on 110th and I gave him $10 and he went into a rundown building and came out with a glassine bag that said, "Checkmate" on the bag.

My girlfriend lived a couple blocks away and we went to the kitchen and opened the bag and made 2 lines he snorted his line I snorted my line. Within 45 seconds I felt really good. It was like this is what I was looking for my entire life.

I felt great! Nothing mattered, I was talky and just felt groovy (my "friend" had already split, he just needed a fix). I was able to make love to my Girlfriend all night because of the heroin. I was able to maintain an erection for hours (all night until morning).

About 2 days later I called my "new friend" that copped the heroin and told him I would buy him a bag to cop a few bags for me and he was at my house within 20 minutes. He went to a different spot and came back with bags that said "Blue Thunder" on them.

He handed me three bags and I opened one and just inhaled all the dope through my nose and like magic I felt great, my girlfriend noticed the increase in my sexual performance (I forgot to mention that I threw up a couple of times after doing that bag of heroin. But, it was all cool. Each time I threw up it just made me feel even higher. I felt like a million bucks.

I started to comb the East Harlem area to cop my own dope without having to rely on anyone. I found one dope spot after another. I was doing it everyday for 2 weeks and one day I woke up feeling really sick, I was gagging on my own saliva, I had the runs, I was sneezing often, my bones ached, I felt like my insides were on fire. I thought a monster was clawing my brains and body. I had sweats, chills. I really felt weak.

I called my "friend" up and told him what was going on and he said I had a "dope chippy" (a habit). He told me to go out and cop a bag and all that pain would go away. I got the bag and wasted no time, I snorted it and like magic all the pain I was feeling went away instantly and I felt great again.

Later on that evening I started to feel sick again and bought another bag and then another and another. I had to keep buying bags to prevent this sickness.

I ran into a girl I knew from the Lower East Side on the subway I asked her if she was heading uptown to cop. She told me she was going to her methadone program. She asked me if I knew any good Harlem dope spots and I said yes. So, I waited for her to get her methadone and we went to a dope spot, while I was buying the dope, she bought 2 sets of works (needles) and she handed me a set. We went to the basement of my building and she fixed and I told her to hook up a shot for me. I never shot dope before and after I got the shot, I felt twice as high as the first time I snorted it, I felt a warm rush going through my entire body.

I converted directly to the needle. I hated being dope sick. But, I loved getting straight. I was up to $100 a day worth of heroin and I started to shoot coke with it (speedballs). I found myself not eating well, not showering, stealing from my family, selling drugs like mesc tabs and acid to kids in Central park to go to my growing dope habit.

One day I came home and the locks were changed on the door. My parents had enough and kicked me out and I was on the streets with a serious drug problem. But, the only thing I cared about was getting straight. My father reached out to me to try and help me. I told him I needed to get on a methadone program.

So, within a week I started the methadone I went everyday to get my 80mg dose and I no longer needed the heroin. I tried to get high on heroin. But, the methadone overrides heroin and I did not feel heroin anymore. So, I started shooting straight coke. I started to go downhill again. I lost my hotel room and was back on the streets again. It was also the time that Crack was sinking its fangs into New York.

Crack hit the streets like wildfire around 1984-85 and everyone was doing it. I converted directly to the crack pipe from shooting coke. My true love was heroin. But, the methadone was taking care of that habit and not taking care of the crack habit.

I was going back and forth to Jail (Rikers Island) on petty stuff. After 3 years on the streets my crimes became more serious. I made a few direct sales to undercover cops and was convicted and got 7 years.

I found in places like Sing Sing, Attica, Clinton, etc;. I kicked the crack habit and was detoxed off the methadone in jail. When I got to prison I was aching for the Heroin and I was getting it in prison. I was released after doing 4 years and I picked up a dope habit again. My parole officer put me back on Methadone.

I no longer had a want for crack or coke and I have been clean going on 13 years, I am married and live a clean happy life. I am still on Methadone. I only go once a week to pick up my weeks supply. Because I have been clean so long they trust me to take home my methadone.

Some people are against methadone because they say it replaces one drug for another. However, it also replaces one lifestyle for another. I am living proof that methadone can work if you are willing to make it work. I look back on my life and I can't believe I made it, with the gangs, the streets, the drugs, the prison. I have been through a lot and paid the price. I am a stronger person now and I am very seasoned. I count my blessings each day.

Side Note:

I felt justified in taking drugs because my father was a boozer and when I was 17 my girlfriend killed herself by jumping off my parents balcony (14 floors). When she died, a part of me died.I ran with the local gangs in the neighborhood and got involved in prison gangs. I was in a drug gang when I got arrested for those drug sales.